Growing up as a Pastor’s Kid
By Shaddih Mururi Nyaga
My name is Shaddih Mururi Nyaga. I am a pastor’s kid. I have always been referred as the ‘pastor’s kid’ but today I introduce myself with this title. I know that the ‘pastor’s kid moniker is not really important but for now it is. So I have been a pastors’ kid all my life. I was born into a Christian family. I am the third born in a family of four children. I got to learn a lot of Bible verses. On Sunday’s I used to wake up early in the morning to attend Sunday school. I still do it till this day. I know that these are most basic things in any Christian based family. It might not seem like something big until you start realizing the burden that comes with it.
Growing up, my parents made sure they instilled in me the right values. Don’t get me wrong I totally appreciate it because this made me who I am today. A good example is when people figure out that I am a pastor’s kid and the first thing that comes to their mind is ‘pastor’s kids are the most spoiled people’. When I tell them that I don’t drink nor smoke they ask if it is because I am a pastor’s kid.
Believe it or not most often these questions disturb me. Every time someone assumes I don’t drink because I am a pastor’s kid it makes me wonder if I can’t make decisions for myself because of my family’s background. I don’t know how to put it but it makes me feel like I only choose to live how I live so as not to tarnish my parents name and reputation. But this is not the case. I don’t drink nor smoke because that’s not my way of having fun.
I won’t even lie I’ve been insulted. On occasion people have made fun of my parents’ profession. This has made me question why it had to be this way. Most times I have found myself praying that maybe my dad would get back into aeronautical engineering, his first profession. I am not one to show how I feel but I have had these type of encounters but I have not dared talk to my parents about it.
One would think, that now as a grown up I can do as I please but honestly not for me. That was not the case for me after I finished high school. I had to join the praise and worship team just because I had to participate in church. Later on I felt that that was not what I wanted. I believe in God and I Love to worship and go to church but not through singing. It became a burden and I quit. Later on I was asked by my parents to be a Sunday school teacher. I felt that was too much for me to handle. I was not even qualified to do all that but since my parents asked me then I had to obey. Every Sunday I would go to church and sometimes when I would get late my parents would get mad that the Sunday school kids would be alone but most of the time that was not even the case.
I did not like it because it was not something I had volunteered to do. I got the hang of it because I love the kids but at times it gets too overwhelming. What I wore mattered, how I presented myself mattered, who I spoke to and where I went also mattered. I really got uncomfortable with all that. I wanted to do things not because I have to protect my parents but because it was right for me.
In what has been described as the Preacher’s kid syndrome, there has been a stereotype that Pastor’s kids are the spoiled, reject family and church values and in many instances fall into drug and alcohol abuse.. My personal experiences show that society expectation on pastor’s kids affect how we behave. Society expects pastor’s kids to be role models, behave well and emulate their parents. According to society we are supposed to be great examples to the other children. When we make mistakes we would get criticized. Church members would deride us if we do not behave and dress in a particular way. I have learned a lot from being a pastor’s kid but I would also love to have my own identity without being referred to as the ‘pastor’s kid.’ I love the fact that my parents are pastors. I love God not because my parents are pastors but because I have seen Him do a lot for me in my life.
Shaddih Mururi is a student at Pioneer International University. She studies International Relations and Diplomacy and is in her final year. She is 21 years old. She loves to sing, dance, watch movies, stay indoors although she occasionally goes our with her friends. She is the third born out of four girls. Her dad is a full time Pastor while her mother is a teacher and also a Pastor. She is friendly and loves helping people be comfortable with themselves while championing for positivity.